Day 11: Harris Beach
• Laundry, laundry, laundry
• Got fish n chips at wharf
• Raining – we stayed in and had microwave dinners- sorry vascular system
• Rohan watched a movie in his bed and Russell and I watched Pride and Prejudice (well tried, Rohan kept trying to watch it and wouldn’t sleep so we had to pause it and turn out the lights – it has been hard to get him to sleep while we are still in the RV, which I understand).
• Russell and I played Rummy! Fun. Russell is so cute at cards - we laughed a lot.
10.10.10: 5:40pm
This is a miraculous day for Janel and the Divona’s…Giuseppe Divona was born! Not so miraculous for Family Ali. As a matter of fact it was complete mayhem. As I was writing this, Royce just stood up balancing on a drum, I said uh-oh and bam he fell and hit his head on another drum. As I ran to get him I stepped on the walker and practically twisted my ankle. Now, picture this in an RV. Normally I impress myself with my cat like reflexes and grace as I switch leap half turn land in an arabesque and stick one hand out and catch heads 2” before they hit the floor. Ok, so maybe I am not that good, but today is one of those days where I twist ankles and crash. Everything is falling, dropping, hurting, crashing and not going as planned.
However just as I teach my athletes in mental training, “There are no bad days, only learning days.” Of course there are bad days, but thinking of them in that manner does not help. And there is always something to learn from our experience. Take today. I had a plan that at 2 pm we would go to the beach for an hour, drive into town, while the kids whisk off to dreamland as soon as they hit their little pillows; Russell and I get fish n chips, go to the laundry mat and work as we throw all of our clothes in one machine and let it work its magic freshening and cleaning our clothes, and our lives.
As you may guess, that is not what transpired. We did go to the beach, that was pretty fun, though it is rainy and cloudy in Oregon. We choose to go at 2pm, mistake #1. Nap time should be about 1-2. We kept Royce up anytime he would drift off with the fresh ocean breeze. Mistake #2. We took an hour from getting back to the beach, cleaning off, packing up, getting fish and chips and finding the laundry mat. In which time Royce was fast asleep and as we pulled into the laundry mat – wide awake ready to play. Meanwhile Rohan still bouncing around in his “bedroom.” The fun begins.
The next hour was just like a lesson we teach to our athletes called – The water and the willow. I learned that I was being willow – and rigid strength leads to cracking and breaking. I broke. He broke. I was trying to force an overtired Rohan to go to sleep in his cab over with curtains leading to the world that are too tempting not to open. I hastily took away all of his blankets and toys, tried every threat I knew to do.
I have since put Royce in the car seat hoping he would go back to sleep, which he did, for 5 minutes before being awoken by Rohan. Royce was now loudly protesting, he wants out! Ohh the nerves were on override. I am typically patient and peaceful, but I also usually have somewhat of a schedule and normal sleeping pattern for my family.
Russell has come back in and had more humor than I and laughed with Rohan, at which point suggested a movie. At first, my thought was, “No way would I give this child a treat after what he has put me though.” I soon warmed up to it and put one on. Ahhhhhh. He was happy and we all had peace.
We didn’t however get any work done and the laundry – 3 loads and 2.5 hours!
So earlier when being like water- the most powerful substance that gains momentum by flowing around rocks, aka the movie, it does work. And as the day has progressed I have also learned that there are times you cannot just allow a child to “do what he wants.” Tonight we gave him early dinner, jammies and sent to bed with a movie to begin winding down. That does not work. He watches it and is wound up like a toy soldier ready to throw down. It took 2 hours of bargaining, pleading, praying, threatening, asking, telling and reading to him trying to get him to sleep. Finally after he woke up Royce again, Russell lost it and threw him back onto his pillow – he cried and went right to sleep. Literally in 3 minutes. Now what have I learned? Well, he was not being bad, just super silly and was not listening. But I do not know what else works to get him to sleep. Either we leave the RV and go to the fire, or we battle with him until it results in tears and sleep. I do see how being like willow is nooo fun and does lead to cracking. Now another thing. There are times when kids just need to be disciplined! And you can do so without being the willow that cracks. There are times you will crack – blow up – freak out, etc. But ultimately we should attempt to be like water and on purpose with our anger. Redirect. Redirect. Redirect.
Day 12 (Oct.11): Harris beach- Grants Pass/Rogue River (Pleasant Creek Retreat)
• Still hurt back
• Generator died
• Am hike along ocean: which has become an example in our workshop. Me wanting to go along trail, Russell to ocean and albeit his agreeing – he brought “grumpy bear.” He complained, and huffed, and didn’t want us to pick berries, etc. But once I told him to change his mood he is ruining the hike, he sat down starred at ocean and apologized. He knew he was not in the Rhythm of Love, but hard to change. He is reliable to say sorry. That is a gift!
• Ended at park- Rohan played with Porter
• Rohan had to pee so we raced over to a tree and as soon as his pants were down as fountain of pee flowed and as I went to pull up his pants he said, “I pooped.” And pointed down, I said, “No Rohan that is a pinecone.” He kept saying no poop. And I looked down, saw a piece of human poop on the ground and noticed that I had just used his underpants for toilet paper…Since I did not have any wiping material I left him and thought I would clean him up as soon as Russell came back. 15 minutes later and a few refused trips on his bottom down the slide, I figured we would go walk back to our camp spot. After I refused to let him down a path, in case Russell drove past us en route, he threw a fit! Screaming all the way to our site to look for Russell, to no avail. Where could he be? So we turned around- at which point he refused and wanted to be carried. So with a screaming two year old on the front and a baby on the back, I trotted back to the playground. Every person I passed of course commented, “You have your hands full.” I have had this comment a few times and always at times when I am so overwhelmed that I can hardly respond, but people love to make that comment. Is it to console me or themselves? I calmly asked Rohan what he wanted and he said, “I want to cry.” So I let him cry. We go to the camp bathrooms, I clean him up as he screamed. Then we go back to playground and he found a squirrel to play with while I breastfed. I looked down to notice he peed his pants, in the three minutes we left the bathroom. And then threw another fit because his friend the squirrel left him. I will admit the squirrel did tease him running around the tree with him and then took off. I couldn’t get Royce back on my backpack so I put him on the front and dragged (literally) Rohan and his pee pants in one hand, poopy underwear in the other and Royce in his ergo carrier off to find Russell and the missing RV. Five minutes later he found us. This is a situation, Will Smith, that “parents just DO understand.”
• Sounds like Rohan is tough- but I do understand the environment and between these moments – it is sooo precious to see his excitement, hear his observations and witness his learning! We have joy in sharing such an experience with him because he gets it and loves it!
• Ahhh kids napped for three hours while driving
• Nick Voichijic “What would have to happen in my life to say that it was worth it?”
• DQ Mud Pie Blizzard – seriously cold heaven –enjoyed every bite!
• Practice ROL clinic
• Driving into the retreat just in time for my client
• The Pleasant Creek Retreat!!! Tell me this isn’t a gift from God. In researching churches I came across a guy doing marriage enrichment at churches and decided to email him for mindshare. We emailed back and forth twice when he offered us to stay at his retreat he built for those in ministry if we are ever in town. As God would have it our first workshop booked is 20min from his retreat! Pastor Nick and Kristin (Jake and Kendra) offered us to stay at their retreat for free while in town - 119 majestic acres of meadows, horses, trails, creeks, a view, and a beautiful 1800 sq’ retreat. I know Rv’s are pimpin, but it is slummin it compared to this place! What a blessing!!!
• Rohan saw his little nook and jumped around saying this is my “special house.” So precious.
• Rohan and Royce played silently for an hour with the toys here
• Royce will not go to sleep without nursing now!
• Royce also is used to sleeping with a warm body and wouldn’t go to sleep- great! He was so well trained going to sleep awake in his bassinette.
• Had a breakdown! The littlest thing- wanted to give Rohan a bath and we lit candles and then I was going to put him to bed and take a nice hot candle lit bath in this huge tub and slip on a big cotton white robe and melt into my writing.
• The hot water wouldn’t work. I ran it for 20 minutes – from the bath, faucet, shower. It got less cold, but not warm. I kept trying. The boiling water tap was working so I figured hot water was on…and kept at it. At 10:20 resigned to putting Rohan down without a bath. I was still very determined to enjoy one myself, somehow. I had my heart set on it. By 11pm still no bath – so I decided to old fashioned style heat boiling water and dump it in. Problem was the water was too cold and by the time I would boil and dump the water cooled off too much. It was one of those situations that you know should not upset you, but there is a buildup of unreleased emotion. I thought the water was messing with me. It was mildly warm and when I turned on the hot again it was warm then went colder, not warmer. We are surrounded by so many amazing books that I kept picking up one and reading a few pages of wisdom. At one point, while waiting for water to boil, I sat in a guest room oversized chair with my white robe on and opened a book to a random page that was talking about white robes! I knew the whole time how silly this was, but I was mentally exhausted. I did bathe (a bit cold) but washed and felt refreshed and prayed with Russell before bed.
• Royce woke every 2-3 hours…I saw many phases of a Rogue River night – at one point woke to see the amazing stars then in my next 2 hour sleep stint- dreamt about stars.
Day 13: Grants Pass- Rogue River
• Had a relaxing morning of bagels and cream cheese and kids playing in the sun lit living room and Russell at work on the kitchen table with a view.
• Went into Church of the Nazarene to meet staff! That went great.
• The Sorani’s let us borrow their minivan to drive into Grants Pass to not have to take RV!
• Great lunch joint – Casablanca – drive thru organic fresh cooked food!
• We all went for our first family of four bike ride! There is a walk/bike trail around property – we went over the river (2 in fact) and through the woods – we had many adventures along the way. Cali the dog was our trail guide – she decided to show us the way. We stopped to see some pigs, then had to cross a creek with our bikes and Rohan in a baby seat and Royce in his back carrier (shhh – don’t tell Johnna). We laid big rocks of logs to step on while walking our bikes, being very careful not to slip. We stopped to see the horses (Shine and Pepper), and lastly the tree house to play. Jake came to meet us and Rohan was in his glory! Russell beat Royce and I in a game of tetherball.
• We were sure to tuck in our pants and check for ticks
• Back to our beautiful home for dinner and family play
• Jake kept knocking to play with Rohan and he would come in and find Rohan naked and bolt! Meanwhile Rohan would run after him (naked) saying “where’d Jake go?” Funny stuff.
• Having Sorani’s over for fellowship in the master bedroom – to not wake Rohan. 3 hours of great conversation! What a neat family.
• We walk up to go to bed and Rohan is face down on the floor right in front of his bed, fast asleep. (His nook has a bed on the floor so he didn’t fall, he just moved). But he was positioned as if he stood in the doorway and just fell flat on his face and fell asleep. Oh did we laugh.
Day 14: Rogue River – Grants Pass – Workshop!
• Rohan, Royce and I went on and adventure around the property. To the horses, hammock, and tree house.
• Rohan playing with a caterpillar and grass hopper
• This is a first!!! Pepper the horse took a liking to me. I was petting him through a gate for a while and he leaned his head out and set it on my head, then proceeded to drool in my ear! Not on…in, right in the canal! I then looked down to notice he was “hung like a horse!” Yikes. We were saying good-bye and as we walked away… his member retracted. I mean, I know I’m cute- but dang!
• Russell and I spent the last hours practicing the workshop- we need to work on our “rhythm of love” while planning the “Rhythm of Love” workshop! Us rams butt heads at times But we know it and do get back to love, and laughter.
• Practicing with a majestic view, a family of deer crossing, a grass hopper hopping and a tree frog croaking.
• We headed to the church for a Spaghetti dinner and our gig!
• Of course it wasn’t without a hitch – but it was AMAZING! The pastor was moved to tears, which moved me to tears, the 25+ in attendance were excited to create their new rhythm, and happy to share with their pastors what they wrote down, people wanted prayer with Russell, Rohan didn’t want to leave, (Royce ended up in our laps ¾ of the way through), and the church surprised us with an envelope with an offering and a gas card! I was so touched I cried again. It was a very moving experience, to feel used by God in such a special way. My heart was touched by the pastors and their commitment and excitement for their church. And when we left after knowing them for two days, the associate pastor said she loved us. God.
• Russell got Rohan a surprise for being so cooperative – bocce ball set!
• Rohan walking right up to bed excited to go in his special house and read with his bocce ball.
• A candlelit bath in a beautiful big bath – shades open to the stars because no one can see me!
• Russell got a back massage – he gets 3 min for every hour he drives! I have a lot of catching up to do.
• Writing a note of thanks entitled ‘Blessing Beyond Words’ to the guest book.
Day 15- Rogue River – Eugene- Wilsonville!
• Woke early- got goin on packing and cleaning
• Left by 11am – both kids napped on the way- as always. So nice.
• Got to Cheri’s and she hopped in the RV with us to meet the pastor at Eugene Faith Center (re-planted seed of working with premarital and pre-parental). Great conversation. Great church.
• Went back to Cheri and Mark’s for a Steak and Rib BBQ!
• Rohan played with Alexa and Colin – outside forever, in Alexa’s room with a pink blanket, a rat, goldfish crackers, Toy story and a Ken doll.
• Teri and Tania came to visit
• Hung out with the fam and laughed, talked and caught up!
• Had a great time with the Longstreet’s- way too short of a visit.
• Left at 11pm.
• Got to Natalia’s late – set up beds and slept
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